How travel makes me feel more like myself
Reflections after a week in Bangkok
Two weeks ago, I was flat out with teaching work, crazy stressed about preparing for a trip abroad, and wondering if I’d made a terrible mistake to even book it.
One week ago, I was getting ready to board the plane home after the most glorious five days in Bangkok (it felt like a month!), and while I was sad it was over, I was just so very happy I’d had that experience.
Life - and travel - can be weird like that, right?
How not travelling increases my anxiety about travelling
I’m incredibly fortunate to be able to travel as much as I do. But for various reasons, I hadn’t left the country since I went to Hong Kong last year, so when the opportunity came up to spend five days in Bangkok to meet up with my RISE Travel Institute colleague Vincie while she was there for Tourism Cares’ Meaningful Travel Summit - and the dates aligned with other work for me, and the airfare was low - I signed up!
I suspect I’m not alone here: the longer I have between trips, the more I worry when I do get the chance to travel. This time, I hadn’t even been on a plane all year. My usual rural WA trips had dried up a little thanks to a new model of workshops bringing tourism professionals to Perth instead, and I hadn’t gone to my usual Sydney conference.
It’s also my notorious “Term 3” busy period. A lot of projects I’m involved with peak during this time of the academic year here in Australia, and my uni teaching is often condensed into exactly this time as well. It’s hectic and a bit crazy, but it’s part of what gives me a good rest in December and January, too - just part of the unusual rhythm of self-employment, with its pros and cons. Add to that some worries about leaving my kid and my new kitten, plus the kind of existential dread that world events seem to instil in us all lately, and suddenly my anxiety levels were really heating up!
Choosing the bigger life
Years ago, I put a quote from author Gretchen Rubin on my fridge: “Choose the bigger life”. Her explanation adds that what “the bigger life” means is different for everybody, but it’s a sentiment I’ve used many times to help me reframe worries or decisions.
For me, I know from decades of experience, travel makes me feel great in so many ways. Yes, that sounds self-centred, and it is in most ways, but while some people go for a spa treatment or a luxury get away to improve their mood, for me it is just basic travel. Pretty much anywhere and for any reason will do!
So, while I was stressing about this trip, I knew I would kick myself if I didn’t go. But, to be honest, I had no idea how good I’d feel afterwards!
The past year and a half has been a tricky time, since losing my Mum in early 2024. For both my teenager and me, the adjustment has been hard, and spending most of 2024 dealing with her estate - much more time-consuming than I’d anticipated - made it hard to get on with simply grieving her loss, too. For a teenager struggling in a few other ways too, adding that in just made it even harder, and gave me as a mother a whole lot of extra things to worry about! (Did you get the message that I’m prone to worrying?!!)
On to Bangkok
But I chose the bigger life, attempted to put my concerns behind me, and got on that plane. Wow - am I glad I did!!!
I know this about myself, but had worried it might no longer apply: once I get on a plane, everything that is concerning me just falls away. I can’t do anything about it from the air, can I? I was flying one of my favourite airlines, Singapore Airlines, and connecting through my favourite airport, Changi. I discovered I could finally watch The White Lotus for the first time - my dear podcast friends Erin and Kattie at Curious Tourism did recap episodes of Season 3 and I didn’t want to listen until I’d watched it. Everything was working out, and I hadn’t even arrived!
Bangkok is a city I’ve visited numerous times and it has such a great energy. I don’t think I’d enjoy living there - if I had to constantly get places by certain times, the traffic would wear me down - but to visit, it’s always glorious. Landing there and hopping on the train towards our hotel, ready to meet Vincie in person for the first time, I was distractedly excited!
(Side note: I know some people find this idea of meeting people in real life for the first time, and even planning to share a hotel room with them, a little daunting or even odd - but after getting to know heaps of people online for years and then meeting up with them, I’ve always found this a seamless experience - it never feels like it’s the first time you’ve met, and this was no exception.)
Getting back to “myself”
I think being away from a bunch of everyday stressors is one of the absolute best parts of travel. Don’t get me wrong - I have a great life in Perth, with work I truly enjoy and find meaningful, both with teaching and consulting and with my podcast and writing; I live in an area I love, have heaps of good times with my teenager, and lots of dear friends. But sometimes it’s hard to see all of that when the other everyday stuff is crowding it out.
My time in Bangkok was really busy - podcast episode coming on this soon! - but every day was different and exciting. I love to meet new people - plenty of this - and I am always intrigued to get to know more about the everyday lives of a place - lots of this too. I had wonderful conversations with Vincie and with other people we met in the responsible travel field, which gave me lots of encouragement for future work (and potential podcast episodes!). There was delicious food and new snacks and unique experiences like visiting a Bangkok drag bar and wandering around a backstreet to find a sneaky cocktail bar Google had recommended us. Lots of stuff that just made me feel more alive!
It might have only been five days, but it felt like several weeks had passed when it was time to get back on the plane (and finish off the White Lotus season!). I know it sounds cliched, but I honestly felt like a new person. Or I felt like “me” again. Time away from home puts so much into perspective - mostly, how fortunate I am - and travel also gives me a huge boost of confidence and renewed energy and creativity.
On the way home, I had a three-hour layover in Changi Airport, plenty of time to indulge in my favourite airport snack of kaya butter toast, and to wander through the shops, see the famous waterfall, and even try out the butterfly garden for the first time. Just people-watching at Changi, a hub for so many people flying to and from all corners of the globe, makes me happy - imagining the stories of all those different passengers.
It was well after midnight when I finally got back to my own bed, and I had to teach the next morning, and I could have felt exhausted and stressed by that. I didn’t. All of last week just felt a breeze, because I had the mental reset of travel and the reinforcement that I’m lucky to have so much in my life to love.
So: is it just me? Does travel do this to you, too?
Love this, Amanda, and can so relate - travel makes me feel like my best self. I’m more social, more curious, more resilient when things go wrong, and it gives me confidence too. I can also relate to the worry: until I went to Singapore this year I hadn’t been overseas for 5 years! Felt quite nervous to step out into the “dangerous world” (though Singapore is probably one of the safest places you can go!)… But travelling reminded me (as always) of the goodness in people everywhere. Thanks for sharing, and so glad you had a great trip ☺️🍃
Yes the time between travel just amps up my anxiety pre travel so much! And I relate deeply and have always said that solo travel makes me feel the most like myself.. I wonder if it’s because I can be whoever I want to be and there are no expectations from the people around me!
I just found your podcast and very excited to become a reader :)